Tales of The Twaxer

I am often asked if I can or will do a Brazilian wax if Aunt Flow is in town…baggage and all…

While it may be more sensitive, I don’t care…..well….as long as you wear a party popper and I don’t pull the string and yell, “Happy New Year” that is.

Waxing hurts…especially in the whoohaa region… even more the pubic bone area. Why…. seriously, why did I think getting a tattoo down there was a great idea?
Well, for starters I had a particular tattoo in mind, like forever. And I talked about it to anyone who would listen, like forever. So of course, I had to live up to my own expectation and those who had to listen to my brilliant idea….. over and over again,…. and that was sober.
So I did…….
The experience was, well…. interesting (for lack of a better word). Sprawling nearly naked on the table, my artist asks me to drop one leg to the side of the bed….so he can sit just along side of me…..with his arm between my legs…with a vibrating tool in his hand.…moving up and down and back and forth…. Do you think a girl get a towel or something to separate us!!??!
Apparently I caused quite a stir among the other artist when they saw the template of my design…next thing you know they are all knocking on the door to see if they can come in and check it…. including his wife…. who offers me a cookie! No, I don’t want a mother F’n cookie! I want you and everyone else to the get F out of the F’n room! (a bit agitated at this point I’d say)
I am now seriously questioning my judgement….

…. how am I supposed to get “lucky”? Maybe if I put lemon oil on it, and call it a scratch ‘n sniff…….

So I was bent over to get something out of the dryer one day….

naked….

when along came this guy….

I always giggle when my clients warn me before their wax, “It’s a jungle down there.”   Makes me wonder, if you are warning me, your waxer, what are you doing at home?  I can tell you that turning the lights off is not gonna hide this one.