Well, truth be told, I did…until one day I went to my gynecological appointment and my doctor said, waving his hands wildly over my nether region,
“Whoa! What happened here?.”
Needless to say, somethings are better paying for.
There are only three people who routinely see your delicate parts up close and personal: your lover, your doctor, and your waxer. Never settle for less than the very best with any of these people. This blog was formerly found on Wordpress.com but will now be located on this site.
Client, “I decided it was time to come see you for a waxing after my boyfriend told me it growled at him.”
When I wax my clients, it is always on a white towel with paper on the table. The paper is for sanitary reasons and a nice barrier so I don’t drip wax on the towel or table. As I wax my clients, they are often put in various “yoga” positions so I can easily see the hairs and efficiently remove them. I often tell the clients that even though the position is uncomfortable for them to be in, it is the least painful since their skin is taut (without me having to hold anything) and they are so busy holding the position and worrying about not kicking me that they often forget what is happening. Not to mention, it is better than being on all fours with your tush in the air. The first time I was waxed down there, I was told to get on all fours. I’m not sure what was more shocking…that I had my ass in the air in someone’s face OR that I had hair there too! Anyway, I asked this one girl to put her knees to her ears, yoga position number two. As she did, I turned to grab a wax stick and paper. When I turned back to face her, I noticed two twigs on the white paper…..I didn’t put them there. The twigs were the size of bobby pins! Trying not to make a face or acknowledge them, I quickly waxed her and picked up the sticks with my waxed paper to toss in the garbage. All I could think of the rest of the procedure and wanted to ask her was, “did someone tell you that you had a stick up your butt today? If so, I think your good now.” After I got home I tried to tell my family the story…they would not believe me. Good thing I saved the twigs on the waxed paper strip.
Speaking of yoga position number two….in yoga class I heard it called the “wind release” position, Note to self, do not make your client laugh while in this position. Yes, it happens
I’m often asked if I do Male Brazilians and this is what I say….
“You mean the ABC’s? I call it that because I will do the Ass, Back and Crack….that little “s” stands for sack. Someone needs to hold those tight, move them from left to right, and it ain’t gonna be me.”
The title Twaxer is what my friends call me….for twat waxer. Talking about our body parts growing up didn’t really happen in my world so it was always an uneasy subject in my household or with my classmates, being in a private Christian school and all. So when I decided to become a waxer and open a place of my own, it was brought to my attention the only way to be comfortable about it in my relationships, whether it be with clients, family, friends or acquaintances was to create a club, The Pussy Club. Only girls could become members and each girl had to come up with their own name. It had to be respectful, but not prissy. For example, you could not be the C word, but you could also not be named after a flower. This exercise became fun for everyone and although there was never a formal club or membership, we all became a little more bold, brave and confident when talking about, well basically anything regarding “down there”.
Here is a list of some of our names (I will never tell who is who) we came up with…..and it continues to grow:
Fine China (see blog post)
What would your name be?
People often ask me how I got started in this business of waxing hoohas all day long. I used to work in the health care field and often times worked with gynecologists. It isn’t new to me to see some woman lying on a bed with her legs spread apart….been there, done that. But I have to say the moment I decided I did not like hair down there will forever be etched in my head.
In order to get the full vision I got, you need to realize a few things. First, my parents were basically exhibitionists. They pretty much did everything around the house naked. Well, until the neighbor called and asked them to either put clothes on or close the curtains. Second, it was the 70’s and in case that isn’t enough….Thirdly, my mother had bright red hair, more orange than red really.
Here is what I saw….
wait for it….
When my daughter was younger, about 2 or 3, she couldn’t pronounce the word “vagina”, she always called it “fine china”. Once she started school and learning about personal safety and “Stranger Danger”, I thought I would help her understand what she was learning by explaining it to her in the terms I knew whe would understand.
“Honey”, I said waving my hands over her tummy, “this is your Tupperware, it can be used on a daily basis. Anyone can safely touch or tickle your tummy.” “This”, I continue and now am pointing down there, “is your fine china, it must be handled with care. No one else can ever touch the fine china. It is only meant for special occasions and must always have your mother’s permission”.
This is going to be my new blog that a lot of you have already heard about. For those of you who have not heard about it, damn you are in for a treat. Throughout the past years I have come to hear stories as well as become part of stories within the skin care world. This is where those stories will become others entertainment. Understand that there will be kinks in the coming weeks as I figure this out so please be patient and Lord know where we will go from here!!